If you’ve been together for a while but married for only a short time, your first Valentine’s Day as a couple can be an emotional time. You have this common experience to share with each other. But it’s also something new: A marriage makes everything more serious. After all, you’re now a “we” instead of just an “I.” And what does that mean about your relationship? Are you ready for all the ways that can change your lives?
As with any major life change, like getting married. You need to take some time and reflect on how things will go forward. Here are some questions to ask yourself as we transition into this new era of our love story:
- What will our common Valentine’s Day traditions be?
- Should we have a shared box of chocolates?
- A romantic dinner out?
- A special gift for each other?
This is the time to decide what you want your relationship to look like.
You’ve been together on previous Valentine’s Days, but now you’re married.
If you’ve been together on previous Valentine’s Days, but now you’re married. You know that you are married and that your relationship has changed—you are now a team. There are new responsibilities and expectations that come with being married to your spouse. Take them in your stride, they are for your sole mate after all!
There are also new opportunities for love and romance. You can still have fun together, but now you can do it as a married couple!
You may have had a long-term relationship, but your Valentine’s Day traditions may not have been firmly established.
Valentine’s Day is a good opportunity to get to know each other better romantically. Talk about what you want out of your relationship. It can be a time for you both to share your hopes and dreams. Or it can be used as a catalyst for deeper discussions about the future.
You may have had a long-term relationship before getting married, but celebrating Valentine’s Day together as newlyweds gives you another chance to talk about what it means for both of you.
Going for the heavy romance is probably going to feel weird before it feels good.
I know it’s hard to think about Valentine’s Day when you’re in the thick of things, but I think it’s important that you do. This is your first one as a married couple, and it might feel weird before it feels good.
Valentine’s Day can be a fun time for couples who’ve been together for some time. This is because they have their own rhythm and routine. But if you’re still feeling out your new dynamic, then going for the heavy romance may feel weird before it feels good.
You might not know what to do or how to make it special. This can make even simple gestures feel like overwhelming tasks on this day of all days. If your partner isn’t feeling especially romantic either, then things could get worse. The best solution, as always, is to have a discussion in advance of Valentine’s day.
If you have the resources to do something nice, by all means, go for it.
If you can’t do something big and romantic, don’t worry about it. You’re married! If you have the resources to do something nice, by all means, go for it. But if not, that’s okay too.
For example:
- You can have a silly time with friends and family (think dollar store crafts and pizza).
- You can get away from the city lights on some nature walk or hike through a nearby park. (You don’t even need to bring food—just your appetite!).
- Or if you’re feeling extra adventurous (or brave) take a trip somewhere warm and sunny where there’s lots of palm trees!
Don’t break the bank on your first Valentine’s Day as a couple.
Don’t worry about spending a lot of money on your Valentine’s Day gift. Save your cash for an event that is more personal to you as a couple such as your wedding anniversary!
- If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, ask your spouse what they like or want. This will make it easier to give them a meaningful gift that they will enjoy.
- Don’t buy things just because you think they’ll impress people. It can get expensive, and sometimes the gifts end up being things you don’t actually like or even use.
Keep it simple and affordable, but do something special.
I think it’s important to keep things simple and affordable. This is not the time to go reckless on your partner with expensive gifts or lavish plans for the evening.
There will be plenty of other opportunities for that later in life. Valentine’s Day is a good time to just focus on being together and enjoying each other’s company without having an agenda or expectation hanging over your heads.
That said, I think one thing that can really help make the day special is doing something you don’t normally do together. Going out on a date at an actual restaurant instead of ordering takeout home from work like we did this past year (yep).
If there are things you’ve been wanting to try as a couple but haven’t had time yet. Or if there are activities you want your partner around when trying them out—now may be the perfect opportunity!
But even though I’m saying all this stuff about making it simple and affordable…don’t let me discourage anyone from splurging on something especially nice for their beloved.
Discuss what your expectations are and understand theirs.
Take time to discuss whether you want to celebrate your new marriage on this day or just celebrate Valentine’s Day in general as you always have, or if you want to make sure you don’t celebrate at all (for whatever reason).
Many couples take the opportunity of their first Valentine’s Day as a married couple to celebrate the milestone with friends and family. It’s important that both partners are happy with how they choose to mark this day, so be sure that the discussion is respectful of each other’s wishes and feelings.
You can tell when something becomes too much for one partner or neither person really wants it but feels obligated because of pressure from others. If either of these situations apply, now is a good time to assess what matters most in your relationship.
Don’t let the holiday overwhelm you
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that can feel overwhelming, especially if you are new to being married. If you have never celebrated Valentine’s Day before as a couple. It can be hard to know what to do for the occasion.
There are many things that couples do for their significant others on this day: buying flowers, cooking dinner together at home, going out for dinner at a fancy restaurant or even hiring an expensive babysitter so that they can go away together as a couple without kids around.
It is important not to let these expectations get in the way of enjoying yourself during this holiday! You don’t have to spend lots of money or do something elaborate if you don’t want to – just focus on doing something nice for your sweetie (or vice versa).
And if all else fails? Take solace in knowing that this day isn’t nearly as important as the love between two people who share it together.
Final Thoughts
We hope this has helped you think about what kind of Valentine’s Day you want to have and how to make it special for your new marriage. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, just remember that this is supposed to be fun! Don’t stress about it too much. You’ll figure out what works best for the two of you and have a great time doing so!
